Employment Worries...

Well, it's "that time" again... well, actually it's a little past the time. My contract at UNC is ending in 3 weeks!!! I am ready to move on and work someplace new, make some more new friends and experience a new place. However, there seem to be no NICU openings in the South East at this time. I have decided on where I want to go, which is the biggest decision, I am just now waiting for something to open up in the area. I am currently hoping to have my next move be either Savannah GA or Charleston SC, or someplace in those areas... closer to Bluffton / Beaufort SC.
As I have done many other times when I want to be someplace specific, I have applied with a new travel company which means a new recruiter who is "in charge" of my life, so to speak. He is the one who finds a job opening for me, and if there are no openings then he is the one who works with the hospitals in the area(s) I am interested in to try and encourage them to consider me. Even though I start working with a new recruiter, I always work with the same recruiter I have been with for the past 4yrs as well as other recruiters I have talked with and worked with previously. So, while trying someone new I still have the rapport built with MY recruiter and am able to trust what she can do for me and know that she knows me and will place me someplace I will enjoy... Well, last week my recruiter (the one I have been with for 4yrs) called and left me a message to tell me she "had some news" so of course I called her back right away, thinking maybe the "news" was a job opening in one of my choice places... Turns out, her "news" was that the next day was her LAST DAY!!! Talk about stress... Now, the recruiter I have worked with for so long and who knows me and I have faith in to take care of me is gone, before I have my next assignment! And, the rapport I was starting to build with the new guy was shook the same day when he thought he could place me in any OB unit in the hospital, not necessarily the NICU -- NO! I only work NICU!! So, it has been a stressful week when I think about my employment situation at this time. However, if there is one thing I have learned it is that the jobs come open and fill quickly in the travel nursing field, and I still have 3 weeks so that is plenty of time... at least that is what I keep trying to remind myself. Plus, I know that GOD will take care of me and will open the doors that are right for me and all I can do is trust in HIM. HE has never let me down yet. So, if you think of it, keep me and my next assignment in your thoughts and prayers. I will definitely keep you updated on what happens!

Oh yeah, my recruiter from the past 4yrs did set me up with another recruiter at the company who she says is really great and one of her best friends so I am sure I will enjoy working with her. But, it's just a little uneasy to be working with all new people and not someone I have a relationship built with. I am sure either of the two recruiters I am working with will be able to find me something great and take care of me.

Year and a half later

It's been a year and a half today that I lost my mom. It still baffles me to think that I don't have my mom around anymore for the mother-daughter things a girl needs and wants. Honestly, I still have to conciously think and remind myself that I can't just call my mom and talk to her or tell her about my day or weekend or just hear her say my name and that she loves me. Will that ever change? Really, I would have to say I hope not because that would mean that I was used to her being gone and I Never want to get used to her not being here. My mom was amazing and it makes me sad to think that some of the most important people in my life never had the chance to meet her, or those who did didn't really have the chance to spend much time getting to know her. She never met my dog either... sometimes its the little things in life...
Guess I just miss her more when I realize how long its been since I was able to hear her voice and have a conversation with her and have her tell me she loves me. It does blow my mind that it has been a year and a half... wow. Think of you daily, momma, and I miss you and I love you.

Relay for Life Update

I received an email last night to inform me that I exceeded my fundraising goal for the Relay for Life walk I participated in a while back!! I had set my goal at $500... THANK YOU ALL for your support in this! You are amazing. More than the monetary donations, I also want to thank you for your support in me as I participated in this event. It is something I will definitely do again and look forward to participating in again.

Thanks Again!!!!


PS you can still donate if you didn't and would like to =) visit my personal page

Time for a Slow-down

It has been a month since my last post, not that I haven't attempted to write in the meantime (there are 4 drafts from these past few weeks unfinsihed!) but I feel I have been running in 32 different directions and haven't found the time to write. The past month has been amazing though, I will say. Even better than I may have expected. Where to begin....

June 14 was Alix and Drew's wedding. The long-awaited event I moved to the east coast for. The week leading up to the wedding was packed full of last minute activities as I am sure you can imagine, only it must be said that Alix decided to do everything herself for the wedding! Amazing. She made the invitations, RSVP cards, the programs, the centerpieces for the tables and we even made the bouquets ourselves!

She is incredibly creative and I am in awe at what she was able to do; however, have fully decided that I will GLADLY pay someone else do it all of this when My Day ever comes around. Too much stress for me. But, it all went off perfectly and everything turned out amazing... including the outside wedding during the thunderstorm!! But, Alix and I laughed through the thunder and she was able to thoroughly enjoy her day, the only thing I could have asked for as her best friend and maid of honor.

A great part of the wedding weekend for me was that Brian was able to come up and attend and we were able to spend some quality time together during the festivities and once things quieted down. It was great to talk and laugh and just be around him again.

The next weekend I went down to South Carolina to attend a formal function with Brian and his squadron. I was very excited to be invited and looked forward to the entire weekend all week leading up to it. The dinner was in Savannah GA so we were able to spend some time walking around the riverfront and seeing the sights there (and eating raw oysters!!! yum yum yum), what a fun city. We had another great weekend and again, I was very thankful for the time I was able to spend with him. It's amazing what you realize you have missed once it is brought back into your life...

I went back to work and prepared for the visit from my closest girl friend in San Diego, Alicia!! We were SO excited to be together and hanging out again. Even though I had just seen her and spent the entire week wtih her when I visited San Diego it seemed it had been forever and I could not wait to have her here. We had a great visit... days spent in the pool, evenings leading into nights spent out making memories... "San Diego, SuperChargers!!" hahaha I love that girl, and could not ask for a better friend. It was a visit we both needed, time together to talk openly and honestly and reflect on each of our lives and what was going on in them. There is not another friend I have that I know I can say absolutely anything to without judgement and hear the most honest answer without hurt. I thank God for this girl, daily. I have been very blessed.

When Alicia left I was still on vacation =) After working for almost 4 months straight a girl needs a week off! haha Plus it was the week of July 4th which is my favorite summer holiday! From experience I have learned that if I work July 4th I am extremely sad and depressed, even the holiday pay doesn't help, I need to be outside enjoying the sun and the cookouts and the fireworks!!! Brian came up and we headed north to Norfolk VA to spend a couple days with the friends up there, and some who were coming into town just for the weekend. It was worth the drive and a lot of fun! Thursday night we were able to see some old friends, one of his best friends who I have incredible respect for because who he is and what he does. It was great to see the boys together again, and it was fun to see him myself too. Friday was the best day... we spent the entire day on a boat anchored off the beach! We all know there is nothing I love more than being in the sun, and especially on a boat!!! It was fantastic. And, the fireworks that night... phenomenal. On the beach, all the people bring their own fireworks, there is not a professional show per say, and they set them off up and down the beach. Now, these are not just small bottle rockets and things of that nature, these are legit fireworks and the "show" went on for about an hour or more! Not to mention the "natural fireworks" that had started, also known as lightening. Now, we had heard the storm cell was going to pass north of us and we had nothing to worry about, ok... then it started raining. So, we gathered everything up and prepared to start the boat and head home... then we found out that the iPod which had been providing wonderful entertainment all day had also drained every drop of life from our battery. The boat wouldn't start, but the storm sure did! So, the 11 of us were inside the boat waiting out the storm and waiting for help to arrive... for about 4 hours. What an entertaining time to say the least... once the storm subsided and the fears calmed. Regardless, it was a great day and we got home safely and I would do it all again!

So, now my vacation is over. I think my schedule has calmed, at least for the next week or maybe even two! I am back to work... and starting to think of where my next adventure will be. My contract here ends the end of August so it is time to start thinking about the next move. Things at this hospital are not bad by any means, but not great enough to keep me here. I am ready to move on and find someplace new... and of course I must keep in mind that winter is just around the corner so I must move someplace warm! I have time, I will figure it all out.... I always do!

I must say, amidst all of the fun and excitement my life has been the past month not a day has passed that I have not wished I could call and share all of it with my mom. The wedding was especially difficuly, in hindsight, realizing that I will never share that day with my mom like Alix had the blessing of doing with her's. There were some hard times related to an immature and awful person that I really needed my mom around for shortly after the wedding. My mom never knew about Alicia or the amazing friend she has been to me. I haven't had her to talk to the past 5 1/2 months about relationship things a girl needs her mom for. But, I know she is watching over me. I know she loves(d) me. And I know she is proud of who I am, mostly because I am so much like her! haha I love you, momma, and I miss you dearly each day.

Whew!

Wow! I can't believe how fast this week seems to have gone by. Last Friday night I participated in my first Relay for Life in memory of my Mom and Aunt Chris, who both died of cancer, and in honor of my Grandma Mary, who is a cancer survivor. It was something I was looking forward to, but I had no idea the effect it would have on me. Quick explanation of what the Relay for Life is, for those of you who may not really know (I didn't). It's an event sponsored by the American Cancer Society in which survivors, caregivers and anyone touched by cancer can raise money and come walk during the time. This event was Friday night, it started at 6pm and lasted until 11am Saturday morning. I found out about the event about a month before-hand and decided that it was something I really wanted to be a part of, and I am so glad I did. I was able to raise over $350 for cancer research in the time before the event just by sending out emails (thanks! by the way, and you can still donate if you would like by going to my personal page. ). Typically those involved in the event are part of a team in which they take turns walking throughout the event and are sponsored by a company in the area. Since I got involved late I did not build a team in and/or get corporate sponsorship or join a team of people I didn't know, so I signed up to just be a participant myself. I had spoken with a couple people out here to have them come walk with me, but when Friday rolled around it was only me who was heading to the stadium for the walk. I knew there would be some emotional times during the event, basically I expected it to be during the Luminaria Ceremony which is where names of those lost to cancer as well as cancer survivors are placed on bags and candles are lit in them in memory/honor of their lives. Also during this time there were bags placed in the grandstands spelling out the word "HOPE" As the sun went down we are started lighting the candles so that each bag would be lit when the ceremony started. However, what I did not expect when arriving at the event that evening was the overwhelming emotion that came with just being there or with seeing the survivors walk around the track or maybe it was walking as a caregiver... I cannot say what it was, but it was something unexpected. I missed my mom. I was overwhelmed, I was alone and I really wanted to leave, but I knew that I was there for a great reason and for that I would stay and walk and she would be proud. So, I walked. I set "goals" for myself for how long I would stay and walk and when I left I realized I had been walking around this football field for 8 hours! I know momma would have been proud of me; I wish she could have been there with me.

Saturday was an exciting day! Dad, Shawn, Jen and Cody all came to visit me!! A weekend I have been looking forward to and a weekend I knew would be crazy... never realized how overstimulating it might be though =) Imagine, dad, Shawn, Jen, Cody (my 3yr old nephew), myself and my dog (boxer-ridgeback, 54lb mix!) all in my ONE-bedroom apartment for the weekend!!! Holy Madness to say the least! But, it was so much fun and I am so glad they came down! We played at the pool on Saturday and then just ran around Durham a little that evening.

Then Sunday we took Cody to the Tweetsie Railroad Park in Blowing Rock NC (about 3hr drive from my house) where they were having a special event "A Day Out with Thomas the Train"

He had a blast!! It was a very fun day for all of us -- don't they look excited??

The next day we walked around Chapel Hill and Jen was in UNC Heaven, buying everything she could find in Carolina Blue =) and then they left... it was such a fun weekend, sad in it's own way as well being that everyone was together except mom, but it was great to have them all here!

I have now been back to work and am off this weekend as well. This weekend is going to be my relaxing time. I am looking forward to a laid back weekend at home, it's been a long time since I have had that! As much as I love always having something to do or someone at my house... I am looking forward to it just being me (& Layla of course) and having some time to relax and just do nothing. Next weekend is the wedding.... hopefully Alix will join me this weekend in the relaxing as well! I am very excited for her weekend and am looking forward to it... my girl is getting married!!!

May Memories

The month of May is filled with many memories for me, some happy some really sad... this year, it has seemed that there have been more sad ones than happy. But, even the sad ones elicit happy memories as well.
May 6th... Nurses Day (go me! haha) but also the day my Grandpa Charlie died unexpectedly 2 years ago. He went to sleep on Friday night and never woke up, no warning, but GOD knew that was the best way for him to have to go. I remember the sadness that my mom dealt with in losing her daddy. I remember going fishing with Grandpa, I remember all of us cousins getting together and causing all sorts of a ruckus just to get him worked up some... I remember him always involved in our lives.
May 18th... my parent's wedding anniversary, it would have been 34 years this year! I could not have asked for two more loving parents who showed me a successful, loving marriage. Don't get me wrong, those two had their issues just like anyone else! But, underneath all of that I always knew how much they loved each other and that they supported each other, and always would. The bond that I saw when my mom was sick was amazing to me, and I will always look up to my parents for the amazing marriage they had and can only hope and pray that one day mine will follow in their image.
May 22nd... today. 9 years ago today I learned what it is like to lose a friend. Nine years ago... it seems so much more recent! Lora Hernandez and Lisa Roberts were killed in a car accident in the early hours of that morning. They had been out with other of our college friends, off to see a movie and were heading to get something to eat. I had been out with all of them the very night before but decided to go home to my parents' that day... I will not forget getting the phone call early that morning "...there's been an accident... Lora is in ICU at Grant..." Up and out of my house to spend the day in the ICU waiting room with college friends and then Lora's mom waiting for her daddy to arrive. Two young lives lost, so many other lives touched by them. Those two girls were amazing girls... beautiful girls, extraordinary personalities and amazing examples of Christ's love, both terribly missed by SO many! http://www.lorabeth.com/

Of course there are other days in May that have other memories... friend's birthdays, friend's deployment dates, fun activities... but those three I mentioned are the ones that stick out the most. They are the ones that never pass without me remembering what they each mean... they don't pass without me missing my Grandpa, my mom or my friends.

Feels Like HOME!!

My vacation is over... Spring Break has come to an end and now I am back to work. I have only been back for 24 hours and I am already going crazy wanting to be in San Diego with all my friends out there. It's home. That is what I figured out this past week while I was there. Kinda scary for me to admit!! But, the people I spent the past week with mean more to me than I can express and have been with me through some really tough times. The friendships that have been built are the ones that will last a lifetime and the ones that I cannot live without.

It was the most amazing week ever.... so many fun times spent catching up with friends. Getting to know other friends better... and just being together. I didn't want to leave.. big surprise. And I cannot wait to get back out there!

Probably not a big realization that San Diego is "home" to me, but when I was asked by my friends when I was "coming home" I realized, it just seemed right. Who knows... my contract here is through the end of August, 4 more months... but, I would not be surprised if there is a cross-country trip and San Diego address in the future this year!