Whew!

Wow! I can't believe how fast this week seems to have gone by. Last Friday night I participated in my first Relay for Life in memory of my Mom and Aunt Chris, who both died of cancer, and in honor of my Grandma Mary, who is a cancer survivor. It was something I was looking forward to, but I had no idea the effect it would have on me. Quick explanation of what the Relay for Life is, for those of you who may not really know (I didn't). It's an event sponsored by the American Cancer Society in which survivors, caregivers and anyone touched by cancer can raise money and come walk during the time. This event was Friday night, it started at 6pm and lasted until 11am Saturday morning. I found out about the event about a month before-hand and decided that it was something I really wanted to be a part of, and I am so glad I did. I was able to raise over $350 for cancer research in the time before the event just by sending out emails (thanks! by the way, and you can still donate if you would like by going to my personal page. ). Typically those involved in the event are part of a team in which they take turns walking throughout the event and are sponsored by a company in the area. Since I got involved late I did not build a team in and/or get corporate sponsorship or join a team of people I didn't know, so I signed up to just be a participant myself. I had spoken with a couple people out here to have them come walk with me, but when Friday rolled around it was only me who was heading to the stadium for the walk. I knew there would be some emotional times during the event, basically I expected it to be during the Luminaria Ceremony which is where names of those lost to cancer as well as cancer survivors are placed on bags and candles are lit in them in memory/honor of their lives. Also during this time there were bags placed in the grandstands spelling out the word "HOPE" As the sun went down we are started lighting the candles so that each bag would be lit when the ceremony started. However, what I did not expect when arriving at the event that evening was the overwhelming emotion that came with just being there or with seeing the survivors walk around the track or maybe it was walking as a caregiver... I cannot say what it was, but it was something unexpected. I missed my mom. I was overwhelmed, I was alone and I really wanted to leave, but I knew that I was there for a great reason and for that I would stay and walk and she would be proud. So, I walked. I set "goals" for myself for how long I would stay and walk and when I left I realized I had been walking around this football field for 8 hours! I know momma would have been proud of me; I wish she could have been there with me.

Saturday was an exciting day! Dad, Shawn, Jen and Cody all came to visit me!! A weekend I have been looking forward to and a weekend I knew would be crazy... never realized how overstimulating it might be though =) Imagine, dad, Shawn, Jen, Cody (my 3yr old nephew), myself and my dog (boxer-ridgeback, 54lb mix!) all in my ONE-bedroom apartment for the weekend!!! Holy Madness to say the least! But, it was so much fun and I am so glad they came down! We played at the pool on Saturday and then just ran around Durham a little that evening.

Then Sunday we took Cody to the Tweetsie Railroad Park in Blowing Rock NC (about 3hr drive from my house) where they were having a special event "A Day Out with Thomas the Train"

He had a blast!! It was a very fun day for all of us -- don't they look excited??

The next day we walked around Chapel Hill and Jen was in UNC Heaven, buying everything she could find in Carolina Blue =) and then they left... it was such a fun weekend, sad in it's own way as well being that everyone was together except mom, but it was great to have them all here!

I have now been back to work and am off this weekend as well. This weekend is going to be my relaxing time. I am looking forward to a laid back weekend at home, it's been a long time since I have had that! As much as I love always having something to do or someone at my house... I am looking forward to it just being me (& Layla of course) and having some time to relax and just do nothing. Next weekend is the wedding.... hopefully Alix will join me this weekend in the relaxing as well! I am very excited for her weekend and am looking forward to it... my girl is getting married!!!

May Memories

The month of May is filled with many memories for me, some happy some really sad... this year, it has seemed that there have been more sad ones than happy. But, even the sad ones elicit happy memories as well.
May 6th... Nurses Day (go me! haha) but also the day my Grandpa Charlie died unexpectedly 2 years ago. He went to sleep on Friday night and never woke up, no warning, but GOD knew that was the best way for him to have to go. I remember the sadness that my mom dealt with in losing her daddy. I remember going fishing with Grandpa, I remember all of us cousins getting together and causing all sorts of a ruckus just to get him worked up some... I remember him always involved in our lives.
May 18th... my parent's wedding anniversary, it would have been 34 years this year! I could not have asked for two more loving parents who showed me a successful, loving marriage. Don't get me wrong, those two had their issues just like anyone else! But, underneath all of that I always knew how much they loved each other and that they supported each other, and always would. The bond that I saw when my mom was sick was amazing to me, and I will always look up to my parents for the amazing marriage they had and can only hope and pray that one day mine will follow in their image.
May 22nd... today. 9 years ago today I learned what it is like to lose a friend. Nine years ago... it seems so much more recent! Lora Hernandez and Lisa Roberts were killed in a car accident in the early hours of that morning. They had been out with other of our college friends, off to see a movie and were heading to get something to eat. I had been out with all of them the very night before but decided to go home to my parents' that day... I will not forget getting the phone call early that morning "...there's been an accident... Lora is in ICU at Grant..." Up and out of my house to spend the day in the ICU waiting room with college friends and then Lora's mom waiting for her daddy to arrive. Two young lives lost, so many other lives touched by them. Those two girls were amazing girls... beautiful girls, extraordinary personalities and amazing examples of Christ's love, both terribly missed by SO many! http://www.lorabeth.com/

Of course there are other days in May that have other memories... friend's birthdays, friend's deployment dates, fun activities... but those three I mentioned are the ones that stick out the most. They are the ones that never pass without me remembering what they each mean... they don't pass without me missing my Grandpa, my mom or my friends.

Feels Like HOME!!

My vacation is over... Spring Break has come to an end and now I am back to work. I have only been back for 24 hours and I am already going crazy wanting to be in San Diego with all my friends out there. It's home. That is what I figured out this past week while I was there. Kinda scary for me to admit!! But, the people I spent the past week with mean more to me than I can express and have been with me through some really tough times. The friendships that have been built are the ones that will last a lifetime and the ones that I cannot live without.

It was the most amazing week ever.... so many fun times spent catching up with friends. Getting to know other friends better... and just being together. I didn't want to leave.. big surprise. And I cannot wait to get back out there!

Probably not a big realization that San Diego is "home" to me, but when I was asked by my friends when I was "coming home" I realized, it just seemed right. Who knows... my contract here is through the end of August, 4 more months... but, I would not be surprised if there is a cross-country trip and San Diego address in the future this year!

It's Official!

I received the official word this afternoon... my extension (and vacations!) has been approved by the manager at UNC. So, I am sticking around until August.

It's good to know this decision is made and so I don't have to worry or think about it... Plus, work is getting busier, which is great because it means I could pick up an extra day or two here and there... extra money is always good! So, hopefully we will stay busy so I can get some overtime soon.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers and encouragement during this time! Appreciate you all greatly =)

Decision Made

Well, I have decided... I will be staying at UNC for another three-month assignment. I am happy about the decision and am looking forward to the next three months here in NC... the weather is warming up and there are lots of fun activities outside to be involved in.

The next few months are already packed with fun activities... the fist (and most exciting) being my upcoming vacation to San Diego!! Can't wait to get back out there for a week and see all my girls. We are going to have so much fun and I am so very excited.


A few weeks after I am back from San Diego I will be headed to the beach for Alix's Bachelorette Weekend. It will be a very nice and relaxing weekend on the beach with some girls I haven't seen in a long time and should be really fun as well!



The next weekend my nephew and family will be coming down for a visit. I cannot wait to spend time with him and see my sister-in-law. It will be great to have them here. We are going to see Thomas the Train and I Know he will absolutely LOVE every minute of it... earning some Best Aunt Ever Points! haha

Then there are some tentative plans for visits to and from other friends as well, and by all means, let me know if/when you wanna come! I love having company and am soo excited to see some great friends during the summer!

So, overall I am excited about the next few months, and I am happy about the decision to stay where I am and continue working at UNC and to continue building friendships I have started here as well.

My Momma

Of course I miss my mom everyday, more than I could ever explain to anyone. But, there are some days that the single person in the whole world that I want or need to talk to is my mom; and in those situations it's almost like a slap in the face with the reality of her being gone. It's those mornings after work when the one person I have always called is my mom to tell her about the night, this morning was one of those mornings. Boy, how those mornings suck.

Usually it's after a night that was rough for one reason or another and I have always looked forward to talking to my mom and decompressing from the night before. She was always the one I could call whenever and she would be there to support me and encourage me after those nights. Mom's always know how to make their kids feel better... and now I don't have that.

I realize over and over again how much I miss her and how no one will or ever could replace my mom in my life (or the lives of my family).

So, hug your mom a little tighter today for me. Call her to say hi and you love her. Just appreciate the time you have with her because you can't get it back.

I love you, momma!!

The Sun Came Out!!

So I just finished one of the "mini-vacations" that working 3 nights a week can offer. I have been off work for 5 days... of course the first 4 it was cold and raining as it has been in North Carolina for the past couple of weeks. Believe me, I am over the rain! We all know how much I love the sun and being outside, so this rain has landed me right on my couch watching episode after episode of CleanHouse--- which, I can't say I mind a day on the couch... but I don't need 3 weeks there! Well, to my amazement the sun has come out!

When Layla and I got up on Wednesday the sun was out so off we went to the dog park so we could both spend some much needed time outside. And it was great. Then, yesterday when we get up again not only is the sun out but it is warm! So, I dig up the swim suit and beach towels, pull out the ipod and head to the pool for some hours spent relaxing in the sun with Alix. It was fantastic! I even put my feet in the water because it was so hot on my chair. However, on my way to work Alix called and it seems our day in the sun produced much more than relaxation for her... she now has the first sunburn of the season. And, as the night has gone on here at work it appears my chest may be getting slightly more red-tinged. But, I can take that as long as it comes with the rest of me being somewhat tan and the sickly-pale color of winter being gone.

So, one more point for North Carolina with the improvement in the weather... still trying to make the decision for my next contract, but as for now I am back to work for 3 nights so life outside of the hospital is put on hold...