All too Real

The reality of not having my mom anymore hits me sometimes a lot harder than others. Obviously I am aware every day that my mom is no longer on earth with me. But some days are harder than others, some days (like last week) I say out loud, to myself, "I really want to talk to my mom today" There is no understanding of why so many of us here on earth have to go through the pain and heart-ache of losing a loved one. There are no answers to the many questions our earthly minds can come up with. All we can do is cling to the promise that GOD has a greater plan and that HE is with us through all of our hard times.

Recently, I have been reminded of the scary and painful days my family went through when my mom first was diagnosed with cancer. And, I know that my aunt has been reliving those days as well. A dear friend of mine has recently learned that his mom is now facing lung cancer and will be fighting this fight and his family will be going through the ups and (hopefully not) downs that we did.

It is all too real to me.
The emotions are still fresh.

The questions still come quickly.

The pain is still there.

The fear comes quickly.

But, I know that my momma fought with all that she was. I am thankful for the example that she was during this fight and that we never saw her faith waiver. She knew who was in control of her fight and who was on her side. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she is no longer fighting. She is no longer in pain. She is no longer sick. My momma was HEALED in the early hours of the morning on January 23, 2007. I won't forget the days and months that lead up to that morning. I won't forget the way I felt that morning. I won't forget the days that followed. But, I will always know where my momma is. And I can rejoice that Heaven is a much better place for her!

Tonight I was "catching up" on the blogs I enjoy reading when I learned of a young family that is in the middle of a horrible time. First let me say that after reading this friend's blog I was reminded how much the wonderful friends I have made over the past 5 years have become like family to me. My "family" extends across this country and around the world, between families and friends stationed in other countries to those loved ones who are currently deployed... but, back to tonight. Tonight I was reading a familiar blog when I read of The Sullivans and the tragic circumstances they are facing. I sat here and read their previous posts to "catch up" on all they had already been through. Tears filled my eyes as I finished reading their story and where Brady Sullivan is now and what he is facing. Tonight my heart is hurting for this young family and I am praying for GOD to give them peace like only He can. I may not know this family personally, but I feel that one of "our family" is hurting tonight as he is a jet pilot for the Air Force. Tonight I ask that you remember this young man and his family in your prayers too.

All too real.
The pain.
The loneliness.
The feelings of "where do we go from here"
and "what do we do now"
But, we are not alone!

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear,

though the earth give way and

the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam and

the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3)