It's not a life for the faint of heart

Whew... the past few weeks have been... well, less than enjoyable really. I mean, things have been ok, mostly good even, but boy I am just over some things. It's been rough.

Three months down with BW being gone... wow! I am glad that three months are over, but I am ready to be done. Can't we call it good and just bring my boys home? I am over the lack of and frustrating conversation. I am thankful for email... but, I miss a phone call. I miss personal interaction. I miss having him here. But, three months down... that's about one-third done! I can do this. And, with those three months down the friendships that have been built between "us girls" are so important to me and I am so thankful for them! I don't know what I would do without my girls... be a crazy person (even more than I am now!) I am sure! They are fabulous and I look forward to our time together each week as if it has been years since I have seen them. There is guaranteed laughter, relaxation, understanding and great times to be had whenever we are together.

The past few weeks have been hard with missing other people who at one time or another were very important to my life and now, for one reason or another, are no longer in my life. I hate when those things happen.. whether it be because of a "falling out" or because of a move or because of a death... whatever the reason, I hate having a place in my life that once was filled by someone now be somewhat empty. There were people that I counted on to be with me through things in my life that are now gone, and it makes it harder to go through those things, but at the same time it shows me how wonderful other people in my life are. I am thankful for the friends I have who have stuck by me through so much and are always there when I need anything and who I know I can always count on.

Today sucked. Today was the first "event" that the next three months contain that I would like to forget about... if I could have gone to sleep this weekend and woken up in February that would have been okay with me! Today would have been my momma's birthday. This is the first time in years that I have worked on her birthday. I think this year it helps make the day go by, but it still sucks. I want to spend the day with my mom for her birthday. I want to call her and talk to her and find out what she is doing to celebrate her birthday, neither of us ever worked each other's or our own birthdays. I just want my mom. It's hard when the calls stop. When the friends who would call on this day the past couple years don't. Not because they don't care. Not because they don't miss her. But, life goes on, I understand that. But, today sucks.

Happy birthday, Momma. I miss you and love you... always!

So, from this day I move on... my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, BW's birthday, the day my momma left this earth... all days that are important to me. It's hard to go through them without my mom, and this year without BW. BUT!! I have my fabulous "Bluffton family" to be with along with other friends and family spread all over the country to lift me up and celebrate with me and make the most of these hardest days. And I am looking forward to spending those days with them and celebrating with them. And by the time they are over and it is February, deployment is almost over and there will be plenty to look forward to!

Even though everything about right now or the upcoming months may not bring a smile to my face, there is plenty for me to look forward to!!

• I'm going to San Diego in one week!! Who-Hoo!!! I cannot wait to get out there and spend some time with Alicia and have some more amazing A&J time! Not to mention all the other wonderful girls and guys who I am friends with who will be around to help celebrate my birthday (a little early) weekend!! It's going to be fantastic!
• MY BIRTHDAY!!! I love my birthday, I can't help it. That is one day I am a princess =) I am very excited for it... and am looking forward to what the next decade of my life will hold. AHH!! I'm turning 30!!!
• Dad and Tressa are coming to visit. I am so very excited for them to come to SC and see me. I am sure we will have a great time.
• I will be going to Ohio the weekend before Christmas for some family holiday time. And, I am flying so I won't have to drive an entire day and worry about nasty weather. I always look forward to time with sweet Cody and the rest of my family, especially around the holidays.
• January is another wonderful trip to San Diego for more birthday celebrations... this time on a cruise!!
• Not to mention all the weekends of fun here in Bluffton with my fabulous friends here.

So, I am excited... sure, some days will suck like today, but there is always tomorrow and more fun to look forward to!